Heart Broken

How did I come to this?
How did I slip and fall?
How did I throw half a lifetime away
Without any thought at all?

This should have been my time
It's over, it never began
I closed my eyes to so much for so long
and I no longer can

I try to blame it on fortune
Some kind of shift in a star
But I know the truth and it haunts me
it's flown just a little too far
I know the truth and it mocks me
I know the truth and it shocks me
It's flown just a little too far.

Why do I want him still?
Why when there's nothing there?
How to go on with the rest of my life
To pretend I don't care
This should have been my time
It's over-It never began
I closed my eyes to so much for so long
and I no longer can

I try to blame it on fortune
Some kind of twist in my fate
But I know the truth and it haunts me
I learned it a little too late

Oh I know the truth and it mocks me
I know the truth and it shocks me
I learned it a little too late
Too late
-Aida

Update on last post:

So I subscribe to these horoscope email things. Usually I check them each morning. But I forgot today. I just checked it, and here is what it said:

Dear Heidi,
Here is your Work Horoscope
for Wednesday, August 27:

It's taking forever for you to get what you want. The only thing that could possibly make you moodier about it than you already are is sound advice. That's right: It's time to stick to a budget.



Are ya kidding me with this?

Retail Therapy

OK. I'm going nuts. I'm really wanna buy things. Lots of things. Do I need these things? Nope. But I want them. I'm going crazy. I'm broke. I want so badly to go to LA this November, but right now I really want to buy things.

I want this sweater:



And this sweater:


And these pants:


And this poster:


Or this one:


And I really want some boots I saw at a store yesterday. Also, I really would like to watch season 1 of Gossip Girl, because I've never seen it. Everyone claims I'd love it. I probably would. But you can't rent it anywhere. I guess I'll miss season 2as well. Because I don't want to start half way in. :( And I don't have/want netflix. I don't understand how I am making $1.50 more then I was at my old job, yet somehow I have less money.
I feel nervous and uncomfortable, and a trip to the mall would ease my spirts.
Someone should take my credit card away ASAP. Not that it won't get declined even if I did try it. :(

Don't be blue. Wear Blue. Its a lucky color.

So many people are blue these days, I made a list so they can see how lucky they are. :) Here is my list:

20 Reasons to not hate your life:

1- You have food. It may just be Top Raman some days, but you have it.

2-You don't have Cancer, AIDS, Malaria, etc.

3-You do not live in a country where war is destroying your home. Think of Georgia, or Darfur, or The Ivory Coast or....the list goes on and on...

4-You can leave your house in a tank top and shorts not get stoned. (Even though it may be tacky...)

5-You have clean water to drink, and it comes directly into your home too.

6-You have a warm place to sleep at night... and its in a bed!

7-You have a family/friends who love you even if they are a pain in the
ass sometimes.

8-You got to go to school even though you are a girl. And you can keep going if you want!

9-You can stand on the corner and shout "I hate Bush" all day long, and no one will shoot you. They might flip you off, but you probably won't get shot. You are even allowed to vote for the next person in charge of your country!

10-You were not torn from your home at 2 years old just so in 10 years your country could up its medal count in the Olympics.

11-You will not have to bury your spouse of 8 years because he/she just died of a painful illness. (This just happened to someone I know. Be thankful for your health and the health of those you love!)

12 You are not trapped in your house at the end of summer because you fell off a rope swing and mangled your foot so you can't walk. (my mom is going on 3 weeks now...)

13-You are not spending your days at Primary Children's Hospital waiting for your child to die because they were in an accident.

14-Your husband doesn't smack you around. And if he does, there are places you can go to get help. Unlike in some countries where this is allowed and accepted.

15- You haven't lost any arms/legs in a war. And you can walk/talk.(Talk to Derek about this he works at the VA hospital.)

16 You can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell.

17- You are not plagued by demons in your house or mental illness.

18-You are not incapable of love because you were born an orphan in Russia that no one touched for the first 5 years of your life.

19-You are not forced to be a slave. Your job may suck, but you still chose to work there, and you get paid to do it!

20-You have shoes. Good shoes. Probably more then one pair. Probably a really uncomfy completely impractical pair. A lot of people don't have shoes at all.

Its a simple as something that nobody knows...

So about the Jack Johnson concert. I love Jack he is great, green, ad his songs are delish. But I have to say it, I used to think the E center was the worst concert venue ever, but I was wrong Usana amphitheater is. I could not see ANYTHING for most of the concert. And hands down the most annoying people ever attend Jack Johnson. So here is any open letter to the fans:

Dear Utah Jack Johnson fans,
I feel there are a few things we need to go over.
First-choosing what tee-shirt/smoothie flavor/bathroom stall are not among the hardest choice you will be faced to make in this lifetime so make it quickly. You have been standing in line for 15 mins waiting for a smoothie. There are two flavors. Wildberry and Strawberry Banana. Both titles are self explanatory. So make your choice before you get to the front. There is no need to hum and ha once its your turn. Also you see that giant sign that says CASH ONLY. That means they don't take credit cards. So have your money ready when you reach the front. Same thing goes for Tee-Shirts You have just watched the 50 people in front of you hold up a small to there chest will fit in it so you should have your style/size choice made by the time you reach the front. This is not hard.

Second-the beer thing. If you can not make from the beer stand back up your blanket without dumping your beer all over me, that means you've had enough. We aren't at a bar. Its time for water.

Third-frat boys: no one wants to see you take off your shirt and let your beer belly hang out while sing/dance around. You are not sexy. You look like a fool. Despite what your girlfriend says. Unless your upper body resembles that of Michael Phelps,you face of Brody Jenner and your dancing skills that of Gene Kelly, put a shirt on, sit down and shut the hell up. And really there is no reason to shout "DUDE" at your buddies every 20 seconds either.

Forth- CLEAN UP YOUR TRASH. Who raised you to act like that. There are 80 trash/recycling bins. Pick up your crap. You are at a damn Jack Johnson concert for hells sake. The is an environmental sustainability fair happening just North of the stage. Hello? Do you get it?

Fifth-Exciting a parking lot is not hard. We are all stuck here together. There is no need to Honk, cut people off, shout at people etc. This will not make cars get out the lot sooner. They will not magically disappear if you honk 40 times. I want to go to bed just as much as you do.

Love always,
Heidi

PS Dear Usauna Your lawn seating and parking lot blows. Take a cue from Deer Valley. They got their shit together.

But a special shout out has o go to Trixi for hooking me and Hibs up with passes to stand down front for the last few songs. I have got to hear my most favorite song from up front. Thanks again!

Birthdays all around!

So I am very happy to announce, that my beautiful, fun smart friend Whitney finally turned 21 today! Hooray no more sneaking her into bars! I miss her like crazy and can't wait to see her in November!

Also a few other people in my life are having some birthdays this week that I want to give a special shout out to:

Clyde who turns 26 on Aug 21!! Hooray. Finally I won't feel so much older. ha ha I only wish I had money for a plane ticket then I could help you celebrate. ;)

Jeff who turns 32 on Aug 21!! Jeff is also due to be a daddy any day now and I am so excited to meet his miniature!! He also had is 100th MLS career goal last night! So a big congrats for that! Jeff was also in town a few weeks ago and it was great catching up with him. I miss him and his lovely wife/baby mama Jocelyn so much. :( Friends like these to don't grow on trees.

In news of other special people who came to visit one of my best friends for life Derek came to town, and we had the opportunity to share a great dinner I only wish he had been here longer. we didn't even have time to do a special revival of "My boobs, his hips".




Well, I'm off to the Jack Johnson concert tomorrow, so here is hoping I don't get a contact high...

Reason number 432 why Ingrid Michaelson is awesome:

Away...

Hey team its been awhile. I know. Sorry. The new job blocks blogs.:( and Myspace and Facebook. So anyhoo... news: I have a new job, another friend went crazy on me, Hiba totaled her car. Lots of Jazz. But in another news, I am very excited for two events!
1-The Hills Season 4 starts Aug 18!!!




And also my most fave music dude Jason Mraz is finally coming to Salt Lake!!! This makes my heart fill with joy.